Parenting 101

Dear C,

First of all, thank you for your affirmations!I appreciate your encouragement so much.As you probably know, it is my tendency to focus on where I/we are lacking/weak and because of this I too often forget to just acknowledge and celebrate that which I/we have done and are doing well.So thank you for that reminder.

I started putting together this list after our talk/your questions the other night.These were the first things that came to mind.Please let me know if you have any thoughts/questions about any of these (or if you disagree with any of them!I want to hear that too.) I will try and write again soon with more detail and some examples.I hope you are having a good week with your munchkins and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on all of this!

So, let’s see, in no particular order

1) Remember that YOU are in charge.

2) Be calm but FIRM in your discipline.Always.

3) Consistency, consistency, consistency.

4) Follow through.If you SAY you are going to do it (or not do it) you gotta DO it (or not do it).

5) Choose your battles carefully and only start the ones you are willing to finish.Because as the parent, you need to win.Every time.

6) The birth of your first child is a good time to go ahead and accept that you will have to repeat the same words and phrases about 8,000 times before that particular lesson becomes a habit/strength of your child’s.Accepting this will save you a lot of frustration and impatience later on.

deserve things.Instill the former.And for your child’s sake (not to mention the sake of every person who will ever know your child) avoid instilling the sense of entitlement that comes with the latter.

8 ) Have great expectations.Children really are smarter and more capable than we tend to give them credit for.Ask more of them.They will rise to the occasion.

9) Think of not completely childproofing your home (with the exception of certain safety precautions.Some of those I understand.) as one giant teaching opportunity.Allow them the opportunity to learn to yield.And to learn respect for the word «no».

10) Your example matters.If you want your children to be kind and respectful and patient and hard working YOU need to be kind and respectful and patient and hard working.

11) Remember that the lessons you teach them and the home you create for them in their developmental years will be their «normal» and a point of reference for them for many, many years to come.Take the time to envision what type of adult you hope they will become.Because their journey towards being that adult begins TODAY.

12) Always keep in mind that your job is to work yourself out of a job.What’s cute at 1 and 2 will NOT be cute at 7 and 10 and 14.Do the hard work of intentional training NOW.And later you WILL reap the rewards.

13) Sibling rivalry, terrible twos and the dreaded teen years, at least in the sense that we refer to them, are all cultural myths.Believing that these are myths is the first step in helping them to become so.

14) Though every child is different, the BASICS of parenting remain the same.It is the details that should be adjusted to deal with varying temperaments, personalities, strengths and weaknesses.

15) FIRM boundaries and a good schedule will go a long way in making the rest of this possible.

Ok, so that’s all for now.(This ended up being a much longer list than I thought it would be when I started it!Guess I should have known that would happen ) Though training and discipline are both important (and often challenging!) parts of parenting, also remember to take a deep breath, SLOW down and ENJOY your munchkins!This is the hardest job you will ever have but it can also be the most fascinating, fulfilling and rewarding job you will ever have.Take time for the hugs and kisses, the stories and the questions, the jokes and the laughter.You will not regret those moments.I promise.

corey taylor new mask